Okay, it�s time for the update that I didn�t do last night. And I�ve got some new stuff to write anyway.

I talked to Amanda, and I was WAY off on my thinking (at least to my knowledge). On New Year�s Day, she and her best friend Cara were doing some �girl� thing, that she didn�t tell me about (YET), and they both agreed to cut all communications for the day. I don�t really understand why, but she�s planning on coming back up here sometime in February to see me. So everything is okay on that front.

I talked to Mandie, and I can basically close the book on that subject. A lot of things were said on her part that just weren�t true. She claimed to love me more than her husband. She said that she made a mistake, marrying him without giving us a chance. She was talking about just leaving everything, and coming down here for me. She talked about me being her soulmate, and that she loved with me with everything that she is. And she promised never to hurt me. But I guess she was just upset, and missing him. Because now she has taken back just about everything she said. Yesterday, she said that HE is her soul, and she loved him with everything that she is. She doesn�t love me more than her husband, just differently than him. And she didn�t make a mistake marrying him. She won�t even consider coming down here to see me now, I�m sure. We probably won�t even be able to stay friends, because I don�t think she�ll be able to deal with the fact that I care about her so much, when she has changed everything she ever said to me. She said that she would call me today. But I�m not expecting her to call, because if I don�t hear from her, it won�t hurt me as much. I love her, but I can�t ask anything of her any more.

Mom flipped out on my last night. I was working on a few projects, and lost track of time. I wound up being awake until after 6am. So a lot of things are going to change. I don�t even know how much I�ll be able to be online any more. She still doesn�t understand that the friendships I cultivate online are as real to me as any face-to-face, flesh and blood relationships. She can�t accept that it�s the way that I want things to be right now. And she is going to cause problems with my time online. I don�t even know that I�ll be on during the week at all, any more. And that is just going to kill me. I�m going to start to look for a new place to live, as soon as I can build up some money. And I�ll buy myself a cheap, shitty computer, that will tide me over for the time being. And that is that.

Well, its time to go, before Mom gets home. She went to brunch with my grandfather. They decided not to wake me up, though I was already awake anyway. But I�m not worried about it. I don�t really want to speak to her right now. I�m going to get back in bed after this. Whatever. Later all!