Okay, back to the rants. And now for the encore presentation... Valentine's Day SUCKS! Here's to another year of being single. It's almost enough to drive me back to drink. ALMOST. But I have worked very hard to stop drinking my problems away, and since then, I have not needed the alcohol either. But every time I think that things are getting better, I fuck up. Or the world fucks it up for me. So be it. C'est ma vie. (For those of you who don't speak French, that means "That's my life".) Things have been a roller coaster ride for me for the past ... I would say probably 8 years. Since I went away to college. Before then, I didn't really care one way or the other. I didn't expect to have a chance at a relationship back then, because it was high school, and I was a nerd. I didn't have online service. I didn't have to worry about a lot of bills. I didn't have a lot of friends to worry about pissing off. But everything changed in college. And that is what started me on this roller coaster. I'm still trying to figure out when I get off this damn ride. Will I ever? Whatever. I guess we'll see when we see. I need to get help, and I need to find the time to go out and get it. The way work has been lately, I haven't had time to eat or sleep, much less go find a good shrink. I know that it's important for me to do that, but it's also important to pay the bills. Because right now, it's not just me. Mom is counting on me, because she still doesn't have a new job. I work for UPS, but through a temp agency. My mom faxed her resume to them, and they told my mom (without realizing it was my mom) that if she hadn't heard back from them, it was because they didn't have any positions in her area. She has at least 15 years of experience in office work of all sorts. So HOW in the HELL is she not qualified for an office job? That is one of the company's main foci (plural of focus).

But on a lighter note, a friend of mine tried to change how I feel about the day, just a little. And I must say that it worked. I'm not going to identify the person, because she asked me not to, but she sent me a little care package of candies, a couple of cards, and a little dog holding a heart saying "You are Special". So I guess this entry won't be ALL rants. But I'm still single for the holiday, so I'll take most holidays over this one, thanks. But I do appreciate the gifts. It made me smile, at least for a time. :)

And I'm happy for all my friends, and the others who have someone at this time of year. I just can't be happy for myself. I'm the epitomy of the broken hearts club, and have the charm on my necklace to prove it.

This entry has gone on long enough. Good night all!